I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
