Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
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