I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
