You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
