I want to have your abortion
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I can't turn off my feet"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
