The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
you had me at cake vodka
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
