so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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