You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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