community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
