we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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