Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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