He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
