i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
