1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
This is not my ceiling
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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