we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
