He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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