can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
