He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
