well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize