Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
It's shark week go big or go home
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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