D3 body, D1 cock
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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