Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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