i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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