her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize