Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
