he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
