That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
