Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
