I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
