you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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