I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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