this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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