My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
my liver is dry heaving
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
