There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
