He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
