It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
