Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
