At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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