...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
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You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
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He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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