so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
my sisters under your porch take her home
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm always down for nudity.
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