Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
