This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
