Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
