i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
