What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
