All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
