HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
