Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
