I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
