I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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