Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
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