God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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