Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
