you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
