one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
so let's talk penis.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
