i would punch a child for taco bell
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
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