Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
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I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
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He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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