Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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