I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Randomize
