I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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