The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Every concussion has its silver lining
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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