I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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