This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
