Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
