the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
