five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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