it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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